Distribute handshake is a gesture common everyday. However, it is possible to learn a lot about people just by shaking their hands. Here are some tips for successful your handshakes.
Among the many actions we perform every day, shaking hands is one of the most common. By dint of repetition, it becomes mechanical, and we think no more.
But you knew it was possible to learn many things a person by shaking hands? Moreover, the converse is true when you greet someone shaking his hand, you pass a lot of information about you.
The handshake is particularly important during the first meeting. Your mother was right, people have an opinion of you from the very first seconds. But what’s the first thing one does when one is introduced to someone? He shakes hands, bravo! (yen has at least one that follows, it’s good)
Therefore, if your handshake is not convincing, if you do not tighten it properly, you could very well spend the first few seconds to a pathetic pussies, a domineering tyrant, or a degenerate moron. This is not what you want, is not it?
Well, see how I think of you! To help you plan a good first impression, you learn to distribute handshakes convincing, I’ve put together this little guide handshakes.
submission, dominance and social status
A mustachioed, and his notorious gesture of domination
Overall, the fact of showing his palms of hands is not a sign of aggression, an excuse and submission. When you want to show someone that you do not carry arms, you show your open palms outstretched arms in the body. You make the same motion when you want to prove your good liver or innocence. You show your palms still saying “you’re right”, or beggar something, or someone begging.
However, hiding his hands, turning his hands down is a sign of authority and domination. You appoint someone with your palm facing the ground when you give a direction or order. Look at the picture of the infamous mustache. If this is not the rule …
Want to know who wears the pants in a relationship? Observe walk hand in hand. Very often, one of which covers the other palm (palm down, so) will be dominant. Most of the time it comes to Monsieur that this honor.
In the photos, the politicians are still struggling to put on the left, because then, their hands overlap that of their interlocutor. Evil, right?
Chirac, left, is in dominant position
Here, Chirac, left, saw his hand cover of Bush, and removes the status of male dominance.
These different movements are echoed in the handshake. When you shake a hand, you can grosso modo-forward three attitudes: an authoritarian ruler or turning the palm down, open or subject to the above, or equal with the other.
Of course, unless you are a master in communication expert in body language, all these attitudes are not voluntary. The message is transmitted and received unconsciously. But it is there, I can assure you.
Authority or domination?
A dominant individual will tend to direct his palm down, shaking hands to show his authority. Moreover, the pressure exerted by his hand will be larger than average. You can use this type of handshake when you greet a subordinate, for example, or if you want to appear authoritative and confident.
However, be careful not to abuse, because if you send a message too authoritarian, you can cause a feeling of hostility more or less conscious with your partner.
One day in a professional context, I welcomed someone handed me his hand horizontally, ie with the palm completely parallel to the ground. If I add that he has crushed my hand, you can imagine that this brave man is immediately passed to me for a brainless Australopithecus.
A handshake too authoritarian often conceals a lack of confidence or a feeling of inferiority. This unease is then overcompensated by signs of trust and authority too well supported to be honest.
Please also use sparingly the handle with both hands. It may be a gesture extremely warm and friendly, and it is to book your family. Otherwise, your partner may find that you “add on”, and doubt your sincerity. It’s not for nothing that politicians commonly use this type of handshake;)
Opening or submission?
Generally, Mr. dominates his palm covers that of Mrs.
Until now, you understand that palm down = authority. However, holding your hand palm turned slightly upward, you send a message of openness and non aggression, indicating that you submit your contact symbolically.
It is an appropriate gesture when greeting your supervisor, or when you want to apologize to someone. Some business schools also advise their sellers to use this type of handshake [1]. A customer is more likely to buy what he sells if he does not feel influenced and feels to dominate the conversation.
However, avoid this type of handshake if you want to put on an equal footing with your partner.
Manage pressure
double handshake
If the orientation of the palm sends a certain message, the pressure also has a lot. Again, we must find a balance between the piece of marshmallow and the nutcracker.
Have you ever pressed a hand soft as a sponge? Not very pleasant, is not it? This type of handshake frequently reflects introversion, lack of commitment, initiative and assertiveness, and refusal or fear of becoming involved in a relationship. In summary, a weak personality.
If your hand is soft, cold and wet, you definitely missed the first contact, and the effect of sympathy will be aroused very average. Indeed, during periods of stress or danger, the blood leaves the body extémités to irrigate the muscles of the arms and legs, preparing the body to fight or flight [2].
Therefore, as blood circulates less in the hands, they become cold and sweaty, giving them a touch quite similar to that of a dead fish. You will inevitably lead to an evil coward in his skin.
Conversely, if you tighten too much, instead of showing you outgoing and dynamic, you will pass to someone too rigid, lacking flexibility, aggressive, or, again, to dominate.
The arm and the distances
People who need a large space tend to stretch the stiff arm to shake hands. This is the case of rural populations who are accustomed to outdoor life.
If your need for space is weaker than that of your partner, you might be surprised, and feel he is trying to push you while shaking your hand. Well, that’s probably the case, even if it is an unconscious gesture. The other tries to defend its territory. It is also sometimes a sign that he refuses to get involved in the relationship.
Conversely, others have a need for private space much smaller, and therefore will be much closer to greet you. The example of Japanese citizens is perhaps the most expressive.
It happens that you draw your bow arm as if to draw you to him. Perhaps lack there of confidence in him, and prefers to remain in its territory, or seeks he to dominate you? Otherwise, it’s just that his inner bubble is smaller than yours.
Remember that everything is relative
Of course, everything I said should not be eaten like a godsend. Keep in mind that people may have good reasons to shake hands or soft bit dynamic.
Those for whom their hands are particularly valuable, for example, tend to shake less than average, to protect their work tool. This is the case of pianists, surgeons, etc.. If your partner is soft, it does not necessarily mean he’s shy, suffers perhaps he merely a finger injury.
In some cultures, particularly Asian, handshakes “normal” is much less firm than ours, which are regarded as aggressive.
Finally, keep in mind that the hands of a man can exert a pressure twice as large as that of a woman. Whereas a man’s handshake as dynamic may be surprised to learn that women are afraid to share one with him, for fear of ending with the fingers in blood. This is particularly unpleasant when Madame wears rings.
The perfect handshake
Since the beginning of the article, I talked a lot about what not to do. Here is what I consider to be the perfect handshake, which allows you to send the best message body.
This handle will allow you to show as a warm, open, sociable, friendly, energetic, without being weak and submissive.
Above all, make sure your hands are dry, not too cold. Small trick to warm them: imagine you meet a good fire, hands outstretched to the fire. Feel the heat that invades your hands, hear the cracking wood, and breathe the smell of fire. You should thus gain a few degrees.
If you take the initiative to handle, reach out to the other, the palm turned slightly toward the top to convey an image of openness. If it is the other who took the initiative, adopt a correct distance (neither too close nor too far) before taking his hand.
At this time, your two hands must be perfectly vertical, you put on an equal footing. Adjust your pressure with that of your interlocutor. If greenhouse emissions as the same level. If it is soft, just be a little more dynamic than him. Do not try to have quite a firm grip is the best way to break into hazel street.
If you are a woman who greet a man, do not hesitate to squeeze a little more than your usual. However, if you’re a man greets a woman, be careful not to crush his hand.
Sometimes handshakes are “truncated”, ie you or your partner do not enter the fingertips of the other. In which case, please start by entering his hand, and dragging it properly in your with a big smile. So, you show that this meeting account for you.
Respect the need for space on the other. If you attracted to him, you approach slightly. If he rejects you, keep your distance.
Before and during the handshake, look your interviewer in the eye, while maintaining a frank smile showing teeth. One thing that I particularly dislike is when someone shakes my hand without even a look. Take this opportunity to greet him by saying his name. After the handshake, still maintained his gaze for one to two seconds.
Practice your
I am often surprised how some people are unaware of having handshakes as catastrophic. People who think they are dynamic as they are brutal, others believe to be quiet while they are soft, or others who think they are warm while their hands are clammy and cold.
To be sure of the effect that gives your handshake, ask your friends what they think. Choose someone honest who will tell you the truth. Many will be unpleasantly surprised. But that’s how we progress;)
Remember the primary purpose of a handshake: establish peaceful contact and send your best message body. You have no excuse not to get a good handshake.
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