Dear Jeremiah,

In response to your e-mail, I will speak in a more direct style than usual, I prefer to clarify not to confuse my readers (if so, I assure you they are) always more more numerous and many.

You do party a majority, I mean a majority of people known as “timid”. And I weigh my words when I speak of majority, because we all share shyness, even the biggest jokers (you know, the guys who always THE sentence to force you to show your teeth and your palate) sometimes shy when it comes to love.

Your case is classic. You speak more easily written and oral, I imagine the notes that you have the tank to your first in French (I say this, but maybe you stepped 3 times your second or even quit school at the end of college, short pass).

To read you, I have the impression that you had all the syndromes of the type that is contained on himself, who took refuge in the virtual world, at least some time ago. The Internet is not inherently evil, after all, is a means of communication as another, even if the old school types will tell you that it’s pure crap because it does not reflect reality ( “nothing better that going in and chat box in the chick alone,” the kind of sentence which I tend to answer “yes no fool, I see the DJ and ask him to lower the sound to let me talk to him “). In short I think we should assume that all means are good to take, just know how to use wisely and not abuse it (dedication to a certain person with a record on almost every dating site).

“Shyness is not genetic (Flipster)

Do not pay attention especially to the preceding sentence, I like m’autociter before pronouncing sentence. Since the magazine ELLE Dragiweb mentioned in his columns, I feel the soul of a writer. In short, behind this pseudo-philosophical sentence nonsensical, in fact hides the answer to everything. Your problem of shyness is not inevitable, but to correct you have to work on yourself.

I do not know your extra-curricular practices (again, I talk about school, but you are perhaps a long-term unemployed). The first advice I want to give you, to gain confidence is to do theater. I can assure you that it helps to overcome shyness. Choose a small amateur theater in your town or elsewhere (if you’re in high school or college, there is necessarily an association or an option), this kind of structure there is a lot of exercises on the body, dialogue, voice, improvisation etc.. Beyond all the benefits on to speak on the gain in confidence and self-confidence, that you will mostly meet people, other people. And that’s important.

Having a network of friend (s), it allows you to output, the life of kiffer looks like another short, do not stay on your PC 24/24 to wait until the woman in your life you come Wizzer. Moreover, even when one has no chance to be a great sweeper (this is something that works, we are not born “flirty”), knowing that the girls know girls , it necessarily creates links and it facilitates the steps … Do not hesitate to play your friend network (s), but it must have a friend (e) s.

The other concerns which you mentioned is physical. The most important thing is to feel good about yourself, then buy clothes that you are, if you have no specific style, you can always choose classic clothes that go everywhere but (while avoiding jackets Santa Fouras horrible … my humor is at the top now). You can go shopping with a friend or a cousin who has a minimum of taste in clothing for women outside an opinion.

Another idea that might help is to set yourself daily goals. For example, I advise you to ask the time once a day to a lady in the street, even if this technique is far from original to approach girls, at least it will help to overcome this fear of dealing another. Also, you talk about your lack of direction, do you think is Dragiweb partner Tom-Tom GPS? We therefore advise you the XRS model pedestrian-453884 … No seriously, your lack of orientation is an opportunity for you to ask the street directions you seek, even if you know the place, do not forget that all means are good to take to approach the other (avoid the still shot of “I’ll shakes violently against a wall and then apologize and try to get your number”). However, before the appointment (since you talk about an upcoming appointment with a girl from net), please go to the tracking site the day before, history does not make the tourist D-Day with a plan City to A3 size.

And above all, as some advice generously given by draginautes on the previous article, tell you something, do it in a tattoo as Scofield if necessary, do not risk anything when you approach someone to talk to him, at worst wind (well ok, sometimes a tornado), and if you’re really unlucky on this century, you risk a slap of his brawny guy, or even a knife to her boyfriend working in the butcher’s corner … therefore relative.

Contrary to popular belief, enthusiasm and charisma are not necessarily innate, they can also be developed.

Many corporate leaders are great strategists, but good marketers do not have that little extra that would make them true leaders, leaders who gather around them teams to accomplish something great.

Some have this gift, others must address to develop their potential until they master the art of motivating a group united to make welded and boost its performance.

Here are some tips to work to become a “pro” in this art:

1) First consider that this gift is not innate but also from common sense.

A number of people have enough confidence to print in others their vision. But nobody is born a leader. One becomes.

And you too can develop your leadership by adopting the right attitudes and habits.

2) Cultivate an infectious enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm is contagious. People feel the enthusiasm that comes from you and in turn enthuses. They adhere more easily to your goals, your projects. If you want to motivate your employees, you must yourself be motivated. Otherwise, your employees will not come out the best in themselves and their results will be very ways … You must be an example of what you profess!

3) Make each person feel that is part of a group.

If even the smallest of you is valued and respected, treated as part of the group, then it will redouble its efforts to obtain good results. As a leader, your goal is to involve everyone. Never think that someone is not helpful. Each has unique qualities and asks only to prove it.

Trust and you will have excellent surprises, plus the satisfaction of being loved.

4) Communicate regularly

The best will tell you that boost your employees with a rhetoric does nothing. They must know the progression of events during the project unfolds. You need to continually ensure the involvement of people in the joint enterprise or service that it occupies communquant regularly and arousing their interest.

5) Make everyone feel that it is unique.

If you do not have a genuine interest in your employees, they will not do more for you.

By treating each in a personal way, people will appreciate you better. In other words, to be a good leader must be human, considerate and fair, at work and at the city. In other respects, do them in proper arrangements for achieving the common goal.

If you really want others follow you, he will earn their trust and respect in this way. Love people and you all a clear vision of the future, with success at the rendezvous!

I hope everyone is well. Some time ago, I had explained how it quacks took to conduct analytical psychological glaring truth in a glance through the Barnum effect. I hope I have demonstrated that there are scam under the rock, and that tests magazines are just platitudes and banalities.

However, this article was a foretaste of what will follow, as the Barnum effect is that the techniques used by fortune tellers to extort money from their naive victims.

The full technical that I will explain is called cold reading, or reading a good cold French. We talk about cold reading when proceeds without knowing in advance information on the victim. Otherwise, one speaks of hot reading. Once you have gone through this ticket, you will understand how to take the lights seem to read your mind and predict your future.
Just Ethics

Beware of charlatans. Note that cold reading is a technique that is not magic, but nonetheless very powerful, and can strongly impress.

Some people use it to distract their neighbors, and use their art in a spectacular and fun. They do not take advantage of the naivety of the person in front of them, and sometimes even help solve their problems, listening more than anything else. There was then no harm.

Others, however, have no qualms, pretend to have super powers, and sometimes abusing helpless people to take money from large sums of money.

Suffice to say that these people must be avoided at all costs. That’s why it is good to know their technique to demystify. Also, if you know of naive people who spend money in fortune tellers, do not hesitate to read this article, you will thus help them (and you do me the pub:)).

That said, you are ready to enter the world of clairvoyance and fortune? We begin to talk of prerequisites necessary for a good read. Then we will study the art itself. Follow the guide.
Build a relationship, establish the atmosphere
smoke swirls
Creative Commons License photo credit: Cheekybikerboy

In the process of cold-reading is actually read the topic that does all the work [1]: A good reading can take place without a total commitment on his part. It is necessary that the subject is confident vis-à-vis the capacitive “clairvoyant” the reader is therefore one to establish the necessary relationship, and gain the prestige it will do its job.

To do this, most players adopt a role based on their physical, they will seem extravagant, or at least different, without seeming threatening. This is the snapshot of the famous “Madame Irma”.

Readers will also benefit from working in a dedicated environment, theatrical, which will immerse the subject in a sense of mystery or mysticism (a trailer full of smoke, for example). They use some accessories (crystal ball, tarot cards, lines of the hand). These accessories are involved in the atmosphere, and allow some loopholes. A reader who thinks mine will observe its crystal ball.

The other advantage of some accessories is that they can guide the search immediately, with questions like “Would you prefer that I start with the heart line or the wealth line?”

In short, remember that it is vital to obtain full membership of the subject before starting. Skeptics aggressive subjects are the worst, is better then all stop.
Statistics on your fingertips

A good cold reader needs to know about the tips of his fingers … statistics! Indeed, during playback, you may start to predictions “the snitch”. You will have many more chances to shoot straight if your prediction stick to the stats.

Hmm … I see a woman. I see his name. It starts with an N. Nadia. No, Nathalie!

Hmm, that’s an indicator that does not get wet too, insofar as nathalie is one of the most used names in the 1960s. Come on, raise your hand, those of you who do not know at least Nathalie?

You will understand the value of integrating all the data, which relate to marriage, divorce, family life, fatherhood, health, pets, popular names by year, employment, housing , education, life expectancy, short! Anything that affects everyday life.

Thus, it will serve you well know that many female names starting with an M or L, or 70% of workers using computers.

INSEE, National Institute of Statistics and Economic Studies is your friend. And yes, he’ll have boning. You’ve heard that clairvoyance was learned without effort?
A sense of observation to all test

A good fortuneteller must have a sense of observation foolproof. It is possible to obtain much information about a person simply from its appearance.

In seconds, you should be able to obtain age, socio-professional class, ethnicity, education, marital status, their passions, their lifestyle, religion, spirit, height his salary, and so on. The best cold readers are real profilers. This information will be used later to guide the reading.

Some things to consider:

* The jewelry is very revealing. An alliance will reveal marital status easily. A beautiful ring finger of a young woman says she was probably a couple, and you can estimate revenues based on the price of the ring. Some rings or necklaces have special meanings (affiliation, clubs, business, religion, etc..). A ring in the ear of a man may mean he wants to look younger, or he is attentive to his appearance. A watch can be revealing (sports, dear, or finger with a needle, large or small, etc..) A complete lack of jewelry is also significant (introverted personality, or “liberated”)
* Clothes are also rich in information. The origin of the clothes gives an idea of the level of income of the person. Is it casual? Sports? Work she in an office? Is it relationship with clients? Is she an introvert or extrovert? What image does she give her? Much information available.
* Accessories: The person is a laptop around the neck? This may indicate a need to stay connected to others. A briefcase in leather? Perhaps work does in an office? A handbag in fashion? A cane or crutches? Fnac bag? Old-fashioned glasses or otherwise “fashion”? For you to infer what he has behind.
* It is important to get a clear idea of the person’s age, because the interests and experiences vary over time (see below). A person who is younger than his age is betrayed by his crow’s feet. Conversely, certain lifestyles are not very healthy old age before.
* The beauty of person, even if the test is subjective, will provide valuable information. The very beautiful woman, for example, intimidating men, and are seen as threats by their peers. They complain of not being appreciated for their other qualities. People in unattractive often have difficult relationships.
* A person fluent speech, the rich vocabulary has probably received a good education, and has a good salary. Conversely, slurred speech may mean lower intellectual faculties, a condition more difficult, and money worries.
* The size, weight, muscles can get an idea of the lifestyle of the person. Is it sport or not? People smaller or larger than average tend to suffer. The sporty people generally have a healthy lifestyle and comfortable incomes.
* You can discover which image is the person herself by observing her gait, her toilet. His hair is cut they really? Is it shaved close up? Black under the nails? It must surely work manually at the factory or in the garden? Calluses on the palms? Labor, for sure. The hair very short for a man? Perhaps he is a policeman or fireman? Big hair? Perhaps he is a teacher, musician, artist, etc.. ?

In fact, there are so many things we can infer from the appearance of a person would need a whole book to explain everything. Then, carefully consider that it is still only supposition probable hypotheses, indices. No certainty is yet possible. This is only to guide the reading.
Being late psychologist
The eye of the beholder
Creative Commons License photo credit: Emmanuele Contini

You are an observer? That’s good. But it will require some additional talent to become a fortune teller. Notably, a gift for psychology. For if we are all different, we do not belong under the same species, and we all operate in much the same way.

You can not afford to fill your patient a personality test (it would not very seriously). You must be smart and cautious to enter his mind, and soak up his personality.

Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist, has done significant work on psychological types. According to his theory, our personality is determined by 4 functions (thinking, feeling, intuition, feeling) and two attitudes (introversion, extroversion). The introvert is one who derives his power from his inner world, where a tendency to solitude and contemplation. The extrovert draws energy from the outside world, hence a tendency to be more binding and expansive. Of course, these are only tendencies. Thus, a person could be 25% and 75% extroverted introvert.

Later, Myers and Briggs, incorporating the work of Jung, establish a new scale, the MBTI (Myers Biggs Type Indicator), which is still used today to develop psychological profiles.

The MBTI identified three scales plus the Introversion – extroversion that we have seen:

* E = Extraversion <-> I = Introversion: Orientation Energy
* S = Sensation <-> N = intuition defines how information is collected, intuitively or through his senses
* T = Thinking (thinking) <-> F = Feeling (sensation): How does one take its decisions rationally, or “feeling”
* J = Judgment (Trial) <-> P = Perception: defines the mode of action, how it is connected to the outside world.

In determining to which box is more or less (it is still only trends) about you, you will get great help to understand how he sees himself, how he built his relationship with the world. In short, you’ll have a good idea of what life might look like.

The scale Introversion – Extroversion is probably one that will help you most. The Introverts tend to prefer solitude to crowds, have a few longtime friends and activities such as reading, or spend much time at their computers, and feel tired after a few social exchanges.

Extroverts prefer the business community, have a broad network of acquaintances, contact easier, and feel alone and tired when solitary activities.
We’re not objective about ourselves

The classification is good, but tedious. To save time, you should know that in fact most people have a very favorable opinion of themselves and give themselves all the qualities of the world. If asked, most people think (even if they do not say) they are far from stupid, cool, they have a good ability to solve problems, we can make them confidence, they are honest, capable of providing much effort and hard work, observers and good at judging human nature, very sociable and that their presence is sought.

The sex of your subject affects how he sees himself. If a woman, she will be delighted if you tell her she is very attentive to the needs and feelings of others, has a good understanding of human nature, often putting the needs of others (especially those of his family and his family) before his own. It can only agree if you make him out it is not always appreciated at its true value, derives great satisfaction in helping others and is very intuitive.

If a man, you get membership, saying he is confident, objective, logical, that to some extent, he always respects its decisions and principles, if he really wants to solve a problem, there succeed, and it is attractive to women.

Finally, you do not wet too much guessing that your topic does not act without reason or understand what it does, do not change without obvious benefits, and dislikes being manipulated or controlled by others.
Phases of life
Old woman with a photo
Creative Commons License photo credit: kk +

In addition to the points mentioned above, you should know that another important influence on our lives: our age. Our desires, our dreams, our aspirations, our experience is not the same at 20, 40 or 60ans.

Even if each life is unique, we cross all more or less the same stages, and crises occur at specific ages more or less similar (the crisis of adolescence, midlife crisis, it tells you something?). It is good to know these phases. So, as you have managed to estimate the age of your subject, you will get an indication about what may be his questions and doubts.

Around 20 years, the youth is in search of independence and seeks to take its place in the adult world away from his parents, physically and emotionally.

22 to 30 years, our subject will seek to take his place in the world, and how to accomplish his dreams.

The period of thirty is usually a phase of questioning his choices. Singles are feeling the need to settle down, those couple desires to have freedoms. Life becomes more structured (buying a house, etc.), career takes off, etc..

35 ~ 45 years of age is a period of transition: people find they fall into the second half of life. Health decreases, the body is not what it was. A major identity crisis is preparing: the stereotypical roles (husband / wife, employee) is not enough to define who we are. For singles without children, a certain “feeling the last chance” appears (especially women).

After 45 ~ 50 years, life tends to stabilize. A revival appears, children leave, the identity problems are almost solved.
And now, the technique

Everything you’ve read until now was somehow Q’una introduction [2]. Now we will discuss the technique of cold reading itself.

For a successful session in cold reading, ask yourself two questions:

1. What is the problem of the subject?
2. How can I reassure him?

People who consult seers and fortune tellers usually do because they have a problem and want to know what the future will bring. They need to be listened to and reassured. As you are no prophet (remember? Nobody can read the future), your work will simply predict all the happiness and prosperity of the world. Is that all? That’s all.

Never, never, never a fortune-telling you predict divorce, accident, misfortune or loneliness. This is not what people want to hear. They want to be told that yes, they will meet your soul mate. Yes, their health problem will eventually resolve. Yes, they will earn money. Yes, they manage to repay their debts. Yes, their children succeed assistance. Etc..

But if he wants to know the future, about you, He already knows his past and present. If you want it to be happy with you and your predictions have credibility, it will have to prove that you also can read his past and wonder how he got there.

One session takes place in three phases so. First, you must put your subject in confidence and show him your gifts. For that, you use the information already collected. When he takes the game, you can begin to guess what his main focus. When you put your finger on it, you begin the final phase, which is to reassure you about him predicting a lot of good things.

The first phase is quite simple: to flatter the subject using the Barnum effect. Reread the article, it should be a formality.

The second phase is the most important. You will interact (I stress) with the subject, to induce him to open up and give you the information you need. For more the subject will feel you know much about him, the more likely you will disclose further information.

For this you will mainly use two techniques:

1. The shotgunning (or shooting shotgun) is to provide about you a lot of vague statements, and observe how he reacts and interprets. In “shooting randomly” in all directions, you multiply your chances of hitting a nerve. Here are some examples:

I see a woman in your pasé. It has no blood relationship with you. You are not always agreed with her. I feel she will soon return to your life.

I see a problem with a father figure in your family. Your father, uncle, cousin? I see the black in his chest.

I see the initials, a N. And perhaps J. I suspect someone whose name starts with those letters will have a special role in your life.

In any case, your subject will be free to interpret this information as it sees fit. If necessary, you can encourage him with a sentence like “I see images, they probably mean more to you than to me. Help me, and we discover new things about you. ”
2. The random shooting (I can not find the name “Official”) is to issue statements and fuzzy rough estimates, to generate a response, often unconscious of the subject. These responses are a true wealth of information for the reader cold.

I feel that you have financial problems recently.

I feel that someone you know has your mind especially at this time.

You work in progress right now. Something that you must complete before moving on to something else.

Such statements are not assertions. They are formulated so as to leave room for interpretation, and generate a return (feedback) from the subject. This indeed, without even realizing it, will acquiesce, frown, tremble, bend, nod, hold your breath, close his chair, sighing, less blinking, stiff muscles, accelerate breathing, etc.., indicating if the observant reader breaststroke wind or approaching its end. You will then lead you to read body language.

This is where it becomes downright funny: 10 even if statements like these, 9 are false and only one key purpose, it is that your subject will retain, through a psychological phenomenon known as subjective validation or selective memory.

By combining these two techniques, you can gather information more specific to your topic. When you learn something new, store quietly and wait your time. When you know enough, bring out the information you have stored as if it was you who reveal them. It’s magic, you’ll think you’re clairvoyant. Recall that you knew.

Lost control
Creative Commons License credit: Emmanuele Contini

You’ll find that most of those who consult seers have three main interests: sex / relationships, health, and money. The vast majority of problems you encounter falls into one of these categories. Marriage, meetings, loneliness, divorce, adultery, accidents, disease, healing (self and relatives), debt, gambling, investment, travel, flight, interest, are very classic.

If you have arrived so far, the last phase is the cake. Just make a summary of everything you know, and make positive predictions that respond to queries from your subject. Of course, these predictions must remain imprecise.

Well, and it’s still there that ethical point the tip of her nose. Your subject is in your pocket, your thank you. It is your responsibility not to predict anything.

If a man asks if he will win the lottery, say you see him come into some money, but surely not through the lottery. If a woman asks if her husband is cheating, answer him that your impression is that it is sometimes a little too suspicious, and he must give him the benefit of the doubt unless you have real evidence. If someone asks if she will meet her soulmate, answer that you think so, and it will probably be a person who does not match the “type” normal about you.

These responses are positive and open mind without encouraging passivity. They create mental conditions most likely to make positive things in the lives of your subjects. Remember, with great power, great responsibility.

To conclude, I hope I have shown that blind, fortune tellers and company, they are gifted with some talent, have no supernatural powers. Remember though no one can predict the future, although some have mastered the art of make believe. If not all are crooks, some cold readers are mere charlatans who take advantage of your naivety to get your money. I am sure that upon reflection, you pourrier find a better use, right?